I now know what I want for Christmas…the one and a half hours back it took me to suffer through Lil’ Wayne’s newest album, Rebirth this morning.

I had pretty low expectations for this album, and Lil’ Wayne did not disappoint.  It is way down where I expected it to be.  Prom Queen was a good indication, if that was the song they chose as the first single…the rest of the album could only go down from that mess.  I have a few questions, Why all these songs about high school? Dude, you’re 27.  Move on.  Also, who sings about jumping out of a window/building in a song called Ground Zero?  Too soon, too soon.  It’s an allusion about him wanting to figure out his life?  He is about to face a year in jail, but there are better ways than alluding to September 11th.  Finally, if you’re looking for sympathy because you used to cut school to sell drugs, you won’t find any.  Jay-Z took it all already.

I kept thinking this album would get better.  Then I came across On Fire…Of all the songs he chose to remix, it was She’s On Fire by Amy Holland?  That song from the dancing scene in Scarface?  That song includes everything that is Rock and Roll let me tell you.  I don’t really understand what the point of this album is.  Is it just Lil’ Wayne singing about having sex over and over again? Who cares?

Wayne mentions Travis Barker in the song One Way Trip, but put featuring Kevin Rudolf in the song title.  Yea because Kevin Rudolf had that one song that got popular, that’s enough to mention him over one of the greatest drummers of our generation.  Maybe he could have given some tips on what rock music actually sounds like, last I checked no successful rock groups use auto-tune.

We waited an extra 6 months because Wayne was worried about making this album perfect?  I would have really hated to hear it 6 months ago.  Put simply, if Lil’ Wayne was a nobody and took this album to any record company and said here is my demo, they would laugh in his face.  This album won’t sell in a month what Tha Carter III did in a week.  Sure it will do well because of the name of the artist, but that only goes so far.  Take the movie Bruno for example.  It did OK because Borat was so good, but that was a bad movie and the numbers showed.

I’ll end with this, normal rock albums end one of two ways, a hard song that gets the listener going, or a soft song to play the album out.  Rebirth ends with the continuous yelling of the lyric “Fuck her anyway, she’s gotta pay.” You exude class Lil’ Wayne.

Grade: F (Can it go lower than F?)

Songs to listen to: None, save yourself the time.